"The Rounds" August 26, 2005

Okay, okay -- so I'm not exactly a whiz kid. But at least I was able to stumble onto a way to recover the file containing this week's column. or part of it anyway, the filename having been rendered by The Gremlins into a format my website-building program doesn't detect. The old cliché "Better late than never" became a cliché in the first place for the simple reason that it holds true. Anyway -- WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS!!! Hooray! (Clever date, above, eh?)

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As I wrote a few weeks ago and announced on this website's homepage, the Great American Rib Company on Sukhumvit Soi 36 has been having a Monday-night special on Mexican food, a special the owners have now extended right to year's end.

The affable Robb, partner in and chief chef of the restaurant, sent me the e-mail below announcing the extended offer:

TACOS, ENCHILADAS, QUESADILLAS, CHIMICHANGAS, BURRITOS,
TOSTADA SALAD MADE FRESH FROM CARNITAS PORK OR CHIPOTLE CHICKEN.

I can promise you that if you love Mexican food, you'll really love Robb's. I've been so busy this month I haven't had a chance to get to the restaurant to avail myself of this special promotion, but you can darned sure bet I', not going to let the rest of the year run out before dropping around! While I haven't had Robb's Mexican food at the restaurant here, I've had it numerous times at Tequila Reef Cantina in Pattaya, which he partnered in, helped open, and served as chief chef -- and it every bit is simply delicious, even now, long after Robb departed, so excellent was his culinary instruction to the other cooks.

If you try Robb's cooking and don't like it, well, all I can say you don't know Mexican food! ;-) [Monday, August 22, 2005]

While none of it is exactly earthshaking, there is a bit of news to report about the Square and even a Squaronian or two.

Crystal Bar is in a "now-we're-open/now-we're-closed" mode again, having shut for a week or so about 3-4 weeks ago. Its hours are equally uncertain; I've seen it open -- when it's open -- as early as the first half of the afternoon but also as late as shuttered until maybe 7:00 P.M. I hadn't been in for quite awhile when it was closed that week, and, frankly, haven't bothered to go in since it re-opened. The owner seems unable to keep even a single employee, and given herself to quietness, it is pretty boring, which is really a shame: the lady is nice, and the bar is physically very attractive. But between a somewhat somber atmosphere and some of the higher prices on the Square, it hardly seems worthwhile dropping around for a visit, with 2 exceptions: if you're in a mood to listen to music or watch television without being bothered by having conversation, in which case it is an excellent place to go. And no, I'm not being sarcastic; the last time I was there I went there precisely because I wanted to watch a CNN special without interruption, so I went there in hopes of finding a situation in which I could do just that. (Happily, I was.) I did buy a drink, of course, and after watching the program sat and chatted with the owner maybe half an hour longer before departing.

I do like Khun Deer, the owner, and hope she can find the formula to have a booming business instead of a desultory one.

The next Square establishment news happens to come from next door to Crystal Bar. Last night I was surprised whilst walking around the Square to see a construction crew in the shop house to the right of Crystal Bar (as you face it from outside, that is, Happy Pub being to the left). It appears it will be either a bar or perhaps a bar-restaurant, a la Hare and Hound nearby. The name will be Good-Time Bar, but there's no indication -- in English, at least -- of the operating hours or when it will open for business. Taffy, owner of New Square One Pub here in the Square told me that Khun Mali, proprietress of Happy Pub, told him 2 foreigners are opening a bar there, though when I pressed him, he did say Mali didn't say whether the place will offer snacks or full-bore menu. He added he had been told it will open next month, date uncertain. I don't know how accurate his information is, but I'll follow developments and let you know.

Late news: This afternoon (Friday) a friend and I were walking by and thought the bar was open, so went in. A Thai lady, presumably the owner, told us the place would open later in the day with a party. we checked back, but clean-up work was still in progress.

The third Square establishment news is actually old news I just haven't gotten around to reporting for the simple reason I seriously doubted the place would make it more than a little while -- but it has, so now I thought I would mention it.

Right at the back gate to the Square, where you exist to Sukhumvit Soi 22, on the left as you exit is a place called, simply, "Sidewalk Cafe" -- an appropriate name, given that the sidewalk is all it occupies. The lease-holder of the travel agency adjoining the place leased out the sidewalk to a nice Thai lady whose name I don't even know though I've seen around for donkey years. She put in a little bar, a few tables and chairs, and a nice wooden fence along the outside edge of the sidewalk. The place in no way inhibits free passage along the walkway. (This is unlike those places which greatly irritate me by placing rows of potted plants some places have extending out from their premises' boundary walls that completely block passage, forcing pedestrians into the street and out from under the eaves and awnings, something especially irksome when its raining. Some go to the extent of putting up walls, for pet's sake. But I'll climb back off that hobby horse now with the ending that I absolutely refuse to patronize such places, places whose owners are so utterly inconsiderate.)

Sidewalk Cafe is open somewhat flexible hours, but always opens by late morning and stays open until around 1:00 A.M., if less flexibly than when it's open, due to laws governing closing hours of alcohol-serving establishments. I stop by occasionally in the evening and enjoy a quiet few minutes. Snacks are served -- which is interesting to anyone familiar with closing "laws" regarding certain religious holidays. The last such holiday we had the police came around, I heard, and demanded the owner shut and pay a fine. However, she has a full-blown restaurant license -- and restaurants are allowed to remain open on such days, though they aren't allowed to serve alcohol (in theory, that is). Once she pointed out her license, the police were on their way, and the establishment remained open.

The last place news from the Square is from Mambo Cabaret, housed in the old Washington Theater directly in front of you when you enter the Square from Sukhumvit Road itself. The owners are doing a major face-lift to the front of the building and the open-air, ground-floor lobby, though I don't know if they're doing anything to the upstairs lobby and the performance auditorium itself. The exterior actually looks quite nice as it nears the finish of the facelift, as does the lobby. For those of you who don't know already, Mambo Cabaret offers a song-and-dance show performed but lavishly costumed katoeys -- transsexuals, former men who decided they wanted to be women. Cross-dressing isn't enough for them; they went under the knife so as to be transformed into women (in a sense, anyway; medicine cannot give them the ability to become pregnant at this time, only to construct artificial female organs).

I went to a performance at Mambo about 3 years ago, if only at the insistence of my visiting cousin and his friends. I am rather adverse to katoeys in general -- not because of their sexual preferences, but for the simple reason a disproportionate percentage of them are criminals who will smile to deceive you then close in and rob you. (As Trink would say, "I don't give a hoot" about an individual's in-the-bedroom sexual preferences.) That said, the show is excellent, and if that sort of presentation appeals to you, then Mambo is well worth a visit. [Tuesday, August 23, 2005]

Next up: news of Squaronians. (One Squaronian is featured in a later story, his story big enough to merit its own space.)

I spoke with "Generous" George Pipas, proprietor of the Texas Lone Staar Saloon (a.k.a. "The Rabbi," since he's Jewish) this morning when he called from Florida, where he is on his annual several-month holiday, gracing his beloved Mary Ann [his wife who lives there, not here] with his august presence. He is still undergoing the spinal injections he has had to suffer since he hurt his back in a drunken fall a few years ago, but the good news is that the minor heart disorder the medicos detected this time turns out to be exactly that -- minor -- and typical of octogenarians. (He's well into his 80's.) I heaved a sigh of relief when he told me his ticker is okay enough -- we all had been fretting about that since he told me some weeks ago in an earlier telephone chat. I'm sure George's many friends will be equally relieved to know he's not shroud-bound yet!

Ditto the next Squaronian about whom I have news to report, the venerable, platinum-level Squaronian Chuck Blue. Chuck suffers emphysema and went to hospital last Monday, at which time the doctors told Ut, his lovely and popular wife, they expected they could release him last Thursday. In the event, he didn't get out until yesterday, by which point all his numerous friends (including me) were getting quite worried. But he has recovered, thank goodness. Chuck's friends can find him most afternoons from around 3:30-4:00 P.M. until maybe as late as 7:00 P.M. (or so) at the Wild Country in Washington Square. Drop by and tell him and Khun Ut "hello."

Third up on the Squaronian Roster is Khun Ray, wife of Taffy, owner of the New Square One Pub. Thursday is Khun Ray's birthday, and Taffy has decided to do something special for her. He is taking her and a group of her friends to the fine German restaurant Bei Otto on Sukhumvit Soi 20 tomorrow night to celebrate her birthday. (On the big day itself she'll celebrate as she pleases, probably at the bar some, then at other joints around the Square with her girlfriends.) If you see her and think of it, wish her a late Happy Birthday!

Next is the venerable Jack Portley, a Squaronian of years standing, and his wife Khun Daeng. They normally go to the U.S., from whence Jack originally hails, once each year, but this year they've been twice already and are set to go again either next month or in October, as they have a fair amount of personal business there to which they are tending. I didn't know that myself until recently, and mention it because quite a few Squaronians have asked me if I knew why they haven't been around much lately. As I said, I just found out myself, and wanted to let their many friends know why they have been pulling a disappearing act.

And *that,* folks, is a rather exhaustive update on places and people Squaronian! [Tuesday, August 23, 2005]

I tend to favor this QPP bar, about which I have written in the past, including my most recent article about the renovation Khun Lee Lee, the lovely and charming owner, undertook to enclose, air-condition, and generally upgrade the place.

Now Khun Lee Lee has initiated some offers that are hard to resist. First, all beers are only 50 baht each 3:00P.M.-9:00P.M. every day. Second, Thai whiskeys will set you back only 50 baht per drink the same hours. Third, pool players take note: the pool table is FREE during the 6-hour Happy Hour. (Normally, it costs 10 baht per game.)

Lee Lee Bar is really a nice bar, one I liked even when it was still an open-air beer-bar -- and like even better now that it is air-conditioned. Besides the fact Khun Lee Lee herself is pleasant, personable, attractive, and speaks good English there is the consideration that her waitresses share those qualities *and* aren't pushy ("Buy me drink! Buy me drink! BUY ME DRINK!!!"), something I have to say is not the case in quite a few bars. That alone makes it a very nice place to go; as a regular, I get sick to death of being pestered to buy a lady drink, or, worse still, to have to vend off wandering peddlers hawing all manner of goods, most often flowers.

If you're not a Queen's Park Plaza regular but are looking for a pleasant change of pace, do drop around and tell Khun Lee Lee hello. She's there Monday through Saturday, saving Sundays for her daughters. And tell her I sent you! [Tuesday, August 23, 2005]

I know, I know -- I've written about this a few times just lately. But it continues to impress me and my friends so much that I want to urge people who live here or visit with some regularity to consider the outstanding bargain on offer by the Imperial Queen Park Hotel in the form of the unequalled annual membership.

At only 3900 baht per year, it is an offer better than any I've ever seen -- anywhere. (I better insert my usual: no, I have no connection with the hotel other than that as a very satisfied regular customer, and, no, I DON'T get a kickback for writing about the place -- I only wish I did!)

Consider just one benefit: the food discount. Sunday buffet brunch at the hotel's Park View Cafe costs 761.50 baht/US$18.50 per person (with the service charge and VAT added). When you become a member, you get 3 coupons giving a 50% discount for everyone in a party of up to 8 -- and that's a true 50% discount; the service charge and VAT are halved as well. As a result, you and up to 7 relatives, friends, or colleagues can feast to your heart's content for only a bit over 380 baht per person, or a little over US$9.00 each. Once you use up your coupons, presentation of your membership card entitles you to a 30% discount, every day, and every eatery in the hotel.

So far, I and 8 of my friends have purchased memberships, some of us staggering our enrollment so the group can continue the 30% discount even longer. Between us, we have 27 coupons for the 50% reduction -- just over 6 months' worth. I expect more friends will follow suit. [Tuesday, August 23, 2005]

Here are 2 batches pf photographs John has e-mailed me of his new RV and some of the places he has already visited.

John "The Hat" retired about 3 months ago after working here in Bangkok for many years. Upon his retirement, John returned to his native America, bought an RV and bicycle (for peddling around wherever he parked his home on wheels), got set to strike out -- and promptly fell off his bike, breaking a bone or two, thereby delaying his Maiden Voyage across the American landscape!

But now John has made the Maiden Voyage, trying out his newly-retired wings. Here's what John wrote about his first road trip:

After laying around for a month waiting for my collarbone and rib to heal enough that I could drive, I finally got out on the road for a shake-down cruise. I spent the week of August 8 seeing what life is like in a motor home and I have to say that it was fun. I tried everything from "dry" camping to full hook up's at a RV resorts. First I had to drive the 150 miles north to Marquette to meet my household goods shipment from Bangkok. I didn't know that Marquette was hosting a "Finn Fest", an annual cultural gathering of people of Finnish descent that drew over 6,000 people. Every campsite and hotel room in town had been booked for months, so I spent the night camped out behind my storage building. The next day I drove up to Copper Harbor, Michigan for a few days. I stayed at a private resort just out of the village and there I noticed that some of the interior lights in my RV didn't work! Must have been a blown fuse but I couldn't see anything wrong with them, and that meant a trip back to the dealership. If I spend that much money for a new rig I want it working and if not I want to know why. Sure enough it was a blown fuse and they couldn't tell me why it had gone bad after just a few hours use. I was also able to spend a couple of days camping in Marquette after all the Finns left town. Rode my "killer" bike around town checking out all the places I used to hang out in . . . bars mostly. They say that after you fall off a bike (or horse) it's best to get right back on (or shoot the horse!). Next comes a longer trip to check out my property in Michigan, and then I'm heading out West.

I'll let you-all know how things are going with me as time goes on.

John was a regular at the Wild Country when he lived here, and remains immensely popular, even if only in memory these days; he crops up often in our conversation. Personable and outgoing, he's a life-long bachelor who remains devoted to his aging Father, whom he moved from his native Michigan (the Upper Peninsula) to Wisconsin on his final annual vacation in 2004. New driver's license in hand, the trooper told him he was now qualified and certified as a "Cheese Head!" (or some such!)

John is fascinating as an expatriate as well in that unlike every other expatriate with whom I've been close friends, John always considered America his home, home in the deep sense of belonging. Other expatriates I've known have come to regard Out Here as "home" at a very deep level, even while recognizing they can never fully integrate into local life. I share that quality myself.

Yet for John, Bangkok was a place he likes, one where he thoroughly enjoyed living and working (and getting festive at the Wild Country!) -- but not home. That always remained the Upper Peninsula, as I expect it is even now, though he's pulled up roots there and transplanted them in Wisconsin.

Like me, John is an amateur astronomer, and that figures into his travel plans. He bought a 5-inch telescope last year that he plans to cart around in his Mobile Camping Ground so he can avail himself of his passion for the night skies when he is somewhere with good viewing conditions. (If you've never seen Saturn, say, through a modest or large amateur telescope, you can't even imagine the spectacular beauty the heavens hold -- even for a hobbyist.)

And John plain wants to get re-acquainted with the land of his birth. Anyone long expatriate can understand that; everyone I know remarks how alien he (or she) feels when returning to their homelands, fish out of water. I know I do, for sure, and walk on eggshells hoping I don't unwittingly commit some grievous social offense that I don't even know is an offense! (Calling an American lady "Dear" or "Honey" are examples in these politically-correct days -- heck, I'm hesitant to address a lady even by the innocuous "Ma'am!!!")

Anyway, while we all miss John and look forward to his return for a visit -- a lot -- we're happy he has realized his long-cherished dream of roaming the highways and byways of America at his leisure, following the seasons up, down, and across the North American continent -- he is even toying with venturing across borders into Canada, Mexico, even Central America.

Back to his trusty backup steed, his bicycle. A few years ago John went out of the Wild Country after a most festive evening of it, managing, in his , um, "high-spirited condition," to step right promptly into a hole in the tarmac only to break his lower leg, break it badly indeed. (It took surgery, whacking on a metal plate or two to his aggrieved bones, and months of recovery for him to become fully mobile again.)

Though John hasn't admitted this, at least not to me and others I've asked (unless said others are lying rascals!), we all strongly suspect he chose a most inopportune time -- after a bout with the fruit of the vine -- to take his "Hi-Ho Silver" for a trial run. Well, better that than barreling down the motorway at 100 kilometers an hour -- all "festived" up!

Well, John, now that you've recovered from your second experience with "Where the ribbers meet the road," I reckon it's about time for you to mount 'em up and head 'em out! May the road be open and the skies blue as you set out on your rediscovery of that vast homeland of yours! [Wednesday, August 24, 2005]

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